Your Smartphone Sucks! 19 Reasons Dumbphones Are Better

  1. Dumbphone owners don’t need to bring their charger with them wherever they go.
  2. I can put my dumbphone in the same pocket as my keys and not freak out.
  3. I dropped my big old dumb phone, and the floor cracked.
  4. I can see oncoming cars when I cross the street.
  5. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night because of some app telling me it’s time to kill zombies.
  6. My dinner never gets cold while I’m arranging everybody’s food for my Instagram status.
  7. Couples with dumbphones actually speak to each other during meals.
  8. Dumbphones only need to get charged like 1-2 times per week, tops.
  9. Dumbphone owners don’t decide where to eat lunch based on which restaurants offer free wifi.
  10. Nobody gives me dirty looks when I’m standing in the welfare line.
  11. My teenager NEVER asks to borrow my phone.
  12. Or my charger.
  13. Or my USB.
  14. Or my AUX.
  15. Or my earbuds.
  16. I never have to spend all day searching my teenager’s room for my phone, my charger, my USB, or my AUX, or my earbuds.
  17. Nobody ever accuses me of taking THEIR charger, their USB, their AUX, or their earbuds.
  18. A husband, wife, and two teenagers will save about $200 to $300 a month using dumb phones instead of smart phones. No data plans. No monthly insurance fees. No app downloads. No data overages.
  19. With their extra $200 to $300 a month, The Dumphone family can afford a Caribbean cruise. Every single year.